Its been a while since my last post but I’m here and if you follow me on Instagram you know we’ve been getting ready for Penny’s third birthday! As I was getting ready to write this post, I took a moment to look back on my very first posts which I wrote right before Penny’s second birthday and before my blog went public. Reading my words during this stage drew up so many emotions. From happy and proud, to a little sad. Penny is getting older and as much as some days I still feel like a total rookie mom, I am so proud of how far we’ve come this past year. All three of us!
I wrote a post last year called, This is two: the meltdown of all meltdowns, which was when we came face to face with the so called “terrible twos”. It was by far the worst meltdown to date which required me locking Penny and myself in a doctors office bathroom until she calmed down. I also believe this was the worst meltdown because, 1. It came out of NOWHERE! 2. I was totally unprepared and my anxiety was at its peak. 3. I was in public, which is never fun. There were so many challenges for both Ben and I when it came to how we were going to make it through this stage. My anxiety didn’t help the situation and the overwhelming feelings. Of course, we can only speak for our own experiences, but one thing is for sure friends, TWO IS HARD! There were days that left me in tears, days I questioned my choices and well, my ability to mother. Was I approaching this the right way? What is the right way? All questions that absorbed and consumed me.
I experienced so many days that made me not the best company at the end of the day. Days that caused me to snap at Ben for no reason. Days I was on edge. As much as you hear or read about this stage, nothing really prepares you for the first time your kid slaps you in public and throws themselves on the sidewalk. Penny’s speech delay was a huge factor in our miscommunication this year but one thing I learned after every meltdown, was my role in her ability to calm down. I turned to a book called, “Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids”. And guys, this book spoke to me so much! Like, this was me! This book was about me! Lol it helped us realize so many things about what Penny’s outlook on this stage was and what role we played to comfort her through it. I recommend this to anyone who is a first time parent and just needs a little guidance. At the end of the day we are all different, we react different, our patience levels are different and our support systems are different. But one thing I believe we all have in common is the desire to enjoy this journey as much as we can, full of joy and build happy memories.
I was raised in a very stressful household. Lots of yelling and lots of fear on making mistakes or saying the wrong thing. Not from my mother, she was/is my rock. I always told myself, that wasn’t the environment I wanted for my kid, I’m not a yeller. When Ben talks about his childhood, he always remembers the good times and the fun moments. I’m sure there were unhappy ones but for him, those don’t stand out when he thinks about his childhood. For me, it’s the opposite.
This year taught me patience and the ability to care less if people are staring at me and my crying boneless child. To breathe through the meltdowns and tell myself they will end eventually (and they do!). To talk through Penny’s frustrations even if she might not fully understand what I’m saying. My tone of voice is SO important. The happy moments will outshine the difficult ones. It’s okay to ask for help. Be kind to my husband. It’s not his fault he missed out on the public show. I learned how to celebrate every victory, laugh at the battles we lost and Penny won. HA! (even if it’s a week later!) and be present for it all!
So yes friends, two is hard and very different than age 1. But it’s all so fun! Enjoy it, embrace the hard moments, they will pass. You will also be surprised how little space they take up in your memories of the past year. I also wrote this post about all the things I want to remember from this year, if you want to check it out!
As always, thanks for reading!
Book mentioned above is below!
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