Our Fertility Journey: part one

I recently posted about our fertility journey on Instagram. I wanted to do a post to share what our experience has been like and hopefully answer some questions I’ve received. I do also want to say again how grateful we are to anyone and everyone who commented, DM’d and text/called us to just give us words of encouragement. A million times thank you! As I said in my post, we started trying to have another baby a few months after Penny’s second birthday.

Let me start by saying I wasn’t on any type of birth control before that. I went on birth control after I had Penny but stopped after one cycle because it completely messed me up. I was so moody and miserable, everything bothered me and I overall did not feel like myself. I believe the way I described it was feeling like I literally had a black cloud over my head following me everywhere. As if my body was being taken over by someone else.  

So I went off birth control and had no interest in trying anything else. So for the next 2 years we didn’t exactly try not to get pregnant but we weren’t trying either. We always knew we wanted to have more kids and really loved the idea of our kids being close in age. However, we weren’t in a rush to actively start trying either if that makes any sense.

A few months after Penny’s birthday, we started actively trying to get pregnant. We felt ready and honestly were very naive to think it would just happen because we were having sex around the time I was ovulating. I feel like when we are younger we are told that if we have unprotected sex, YOU WILL GET PREGNANT! It was just a fact. But it’s not like that at all! At least it wasn’t for us. Actually the percentage of a woman my age (30’s) getting pregnant during each cycle is about 15%.

So, after 6 months of not getting pregnant I went in for my annual check up with my OB and asked for some fertility testing. Usually 6 months of trying was not a long time, since I haven’t been on any type of birth control since Penny was 4 months old, we wanted to make sure everything was okay. Along with some blood work my doctor tracked my cycle for one month and checked my progesterone levels to make sure I was actually ovulating. All concluded I was perfectly fertile and we were told to keep trying to conceive naturally.

After that, I decided to track my ovulation every cycle to see if I was actually ovulating when I thought I was. Freakishly enough I was, down to the the day my app told me I would be. Since we knew I was ovulating we decided to keep trying on our own and keep our fingers crossed. We did this for a year. Month after month my cycle came and I dreaded goint to the bathroom. Dreaded waking up to my period.

Then, November 2018 it was time for my annual check up again. Sadly my OB, the one who delivered Penny moved away and I needed to find a new one. I decided to book an apt. with a new doctor and transfer over all my fertility tests so she knew where we were in the process. I was extremely disappointed when I went in for my appointment and the doctor told me I wasn’t due for a check up.

She told me OB check ups only have to happen every 3 years now and that my last pap and blood work was all normal so it wasn’t necessary. After I mentioned we had been trying for a while, all she said was to keep trying! It was so frustrating and made me feel like my questions were just getting brushed off.

I went home and started to look for another OB and found Dr. L! She did a full blood work order and immediately referred me to a fertility specialist. I started seeing Dr. K at the end of January and we spent the next month or so doing all the tests! Everything from genetic testing, an HSG test, which checks if your tubes are blocked, sperm and semen analysis and more I can’t remember; all tests came back in our favor and we were given all of our options. Dr. K made me feel confident that no matter what fertility treatment we chose, the odds are in our favor. The question was which route were we going to take.

To be continued…

This is 4

As the true inconsistent and procrastinating person that I am. Here is Penny’s 4th birthday post (sorry kid!). I feel like I say this every year but this was a major fun and stress free birthday. Aside from this being the first birthday where we felt like we needed actual entertainment and we had about 35 people who joined us, it was a pretty successful birthday with very few hiccups. I’ll call that a win. Oh wait! I forgot that Penny got super sick the night of her party and spent her actual birthday throwing up in a unicorn bucket. Okay, but aside from THAT she had a blast. Seriously, I had no idea she wasn’t feeling well but more on that later.

Penny absolutely loves celebrating birthdays! She loves singing “happy birthday” and the cake that comes along with it. When there’s a birthday party at school she is so excited when she comes home and loves telling us how old her friend turned.  So we knew we had to do two parties. One for her school friends and one with family and her friends in the neighborhood. We decided to do a Spider-Man themed birthday for her school party and brought over red and blue cupcakes to celebrate. She had so much fun and was so excited to introduce us to her classmates. That night she threw up red frosting and I was so shocked because she was in such a happy mood ALL day, not acting like she was sick at all. I immediately thought I poisoned the kids or something and started freaking out! Penny NEVER throws up. She threw up once before when she was a newborn and I over fed her like the new mom I was. I thought I was going to have to cancel her birthday party but Ben made a point that the cupcake may just not have sit well in her stomach. She woke up the next morning good as new! No fever or anything so we decided to keep the party going.

The whole party was a little less than 3 hours and the kids had a blast! We rented an outdoor garden at out neighborhood church and got super lucky with a sunny day. It’s always a gamble! We bought individual bubble wands for the kids to play with and found the coolest massive bubble wand on Amazon! We got a couple of buckets from target and put soap in them. It was a hit! As far as food goes we had some chips and salsa out for everyone and some crackers and juice for the kids. We had pizza delivered in the middle and planned to put out some salad we got from Costco but we completely forgot. So it was just pizza! As per usual, we got Penny’s birthday cake from Costco and can you believe we almost finished the whole cake?! It’s supposed to feed 50 people and somehow we only had a small corner left, LOL. I was a little nervous Penny was going to get nervous with so many people there but it wasn’t like that at all. She loved seeing all her favorite people together in one place.

So party is over and we head home to veg out, eat dinner and get ready for bed. Around 2am we all woke up with Penny throwing up in our bed. I picked her up to take her to the bathroom and she threw up all over the wall and all over me, POOR THING! I felt so bad for her. SO we got the unicorn bucket, yep the same one we used for the bubbles, and kept it by our bed in case she needed to throw up again. And friends, she did, all night! We actually brought in her actual time of birth with her throwing up in the unicorn bucket. It was quite a night and I felt so bad for her. Even more for thinking that she probably felt sick the whole day at her party and just trooped it. Luckily it was just a bug and woke up feeling so much better the next morning.

There is nothing I hate more than seeing my baby sick! I am just so glad she enjoyed her birthday and we have entered this new age with so much joy. 4 is really fun so far and it just reminds me how far Penny has come this past year. Here are some fun photos from her birthday!

Thanks for reading!

xo, Vee

Dear Penny: Happy 4th birthday!

Dear Penny,

I am so incredibly proud of you. I really wish I had another word to use because it just doesn’t seem enough to express how you make me feel. You have had such an exciting year. You’re so affectionate right now and it makes me feel so loved by you. Thank you for all the cuddles and the morning kisses to wake me up. I hope you never stop doing that. I love stretching together before we get out of bed. You are so curious on the whys and whats. I love answering your questions and seeing how you instantly remember the answers. Your mind makes me so excited for the future and I just know that you will always help me see the beauty in the little things. Seeing you figure things out on your own makes me so happy. You refuse to accept help because you want to do things on your own. I hope you always remember that I will always be here to help you figure things out though. Anything, big or small. I’m glad we are learning how to communicate better and I hope you feel the same. Our relationship is one I never thought I would have and I’m so grateful we get to navigate this relationship together. You are so strongwilled, Penny and you have such a big heart. Happy birthday my sweet girl. You continue to be my greatest adventure. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for teaching me. Most of all thank you for showing me how to appreciate all the little things in life. I’m with you always.

I love you!


This was Three: Things I want to remember

I just read my post I wrote last year about what I wanted to remember before Penny turned 3. And WOW! So much has changed and I didn’t really realize how much can happen in a year. Here I am planning another birthday party and thinking about age 3. Hand to heart, two was definitely more challenging than three. Not that three was a walk in the park but so much was different this past year. We had more support from family, Penny’s communication skills got so much better, I started working, Ben’s work schedule was more flexible. So much contributed to this past year and I’m so incredibly grateful for it! And the cherry on top of it all, my sweet girl is happy, healthy and so full of life! So here are a few things I want to remember…

Penny is 100% potty trained! Woohoo!

She has branched out of Sofia the First! THANK YOU UNIVERSE! She has so many other favorites now like Moana, COCO, Frozen, Spider-Man, Incredibles, PJ masks.

She can count to 30, knows all her colors, shapes and body parts.

She is so independent and only asks for help when she really needs it.

She loves figuring things out like opening and twisting things. She also yells “my finger!” If it’s difficult to figure out.

She loves cooking with me! She adds ingredients, beats her own eggs, stirs her oatmeal and even got her first burn thanks to a really hot cast iron.

She is still such a good little eater with a big appetite!

She’s observant. She knows when I don’t feel well and if I get hurt she immediately gives me a kiss.

She’s affectionate and so cuddly before bed!

She goes to sleep on her own without us.

She loves books and has memorized her bedtime stories.

She lets me do her hair every morning and immediately goes to the mirror to see it with a big smile on her face!

She is completely careless about technology aside from watching tv here and there. Still has no idea what mommy and daddy’s phone can do LOL

She loves music and knows the whole soundtrack to Frozen, Moana and Coco.

She’s so fast on her scooter!

She is so close to her grandma, great grandma, uncles, aunts and cousins! Asks for them constantly and loves being around them.

She know the names of all the kids in her class and loves going over them, writing their names and drawing their faces 😃

Penny’s vocabulary has tripled and we are able to understand each other so much better now!

Not a fan of sharing yet.

Penny started at a new school and takes the school bus to and from. After a month of making a run for it every time the bus came, she now loves it! And knows the names of most of the kids on the bus too.

Her memory amazes me. She takes me to friends houses we’ve never been to but remembers the way from the bus route.

She loves taking the bus and train but also puts her little NY legs to work.

She loves dressing herself. Currently pajamas are day outfits too LOL!

Loves nature. Loves rain, snow and water.

Swimming is her favorite.

She was a flower girl for my friends wedding and broke a vase during the ceremony.

She went through a phase where she wore 7 tiaras every day and brought her Sofia the First dolls with her everywhere!

She cleans her own plate after dinner and puts it in the sink.

She makes the biggest messes and cleans them up, NEVER, just like mama 😃

She is so smart and curious.

I’m so proud of all she has accomplished this year. Most of all I’m happy she’s happy. I feel confident she knows she’s loved and supported. I can’t wait to see all she will learn and explore this year!

This was three, four we are ready for you. I think!



Let’s chat: Why I started blogging!

A few weeks ago my blog turned one! It was exciting to look back on the last year and see how many connections I’ve been able to make in this community. Although I don’t blog as much as I would like to or even as much as I planned to when I first started, I am SO happy I have this space. It’s where I come to look back on my words, thoughts and memories. Where I vent and let my emotions out freely without a worry of judgment. I love having this little corner in cyber space where I can share or not share anything I want!

I wanted to write this blog post to share why I started blogging and one thing I realized was that reason has changed so much in the last year. It’s become different little reasons along the way but in all transparency it has become a safe place for my sanity as well as my dark moments. I come here to work through thoughts and in the end of my sometimes dark moments, I end up feeling incredibly grateful for the life I get to live.

Let’s start by backing it up about 17 years to a very troubled and depressed teenager. I have been in and out of therapy for the past 16 years through some of my darkest moments. From an unhappy childhood to anxiety and depression and sometimes harmful thoughts, I seeked help in hopes that one day I’d come out on the other side. Something I realized during therapy was my inability to pinpoint what was making me unhappy. Because of this I was encouraged to write. Write letters to people who hurt me. Write my thoughts when I felt sad. Write when I felt happy. Write on good days and on bad. The result was what helped me work through my emotions and eventually get off antidepressants. I won’t go deeper on this subject right now but may in the future! But this is when I realized how important writing was for my mental health.

Fast forward to being 27 years old, a new mom, and moving to a different time zone away from all of my immediate family. Let’s just say I went through an emotional rollercoaster during my daughters first year of life for so many reasons. Penny was 2 months old when we moved to Arizona and after a few weeks, the excitement of finally moving away from my birthplace wore off and I found myself extremely unhappy.

I do believe all these changes threw me into a state of postpartum depressed but because I didn’t seek professional counseling, I can’t say for sure. Since I have history with depression I knew I needed to talk about what was going through my mind, not suffer in silence and not let my thoughts fester in the pit of my stomach. If I wanted to work through my emotions like I’ve had to in the past, I had to talk to someone. During this time I had a sense of gratitude for knowing exactly who I needed to talk to. My husband. And hand to heart, he’s the reason I am able to feel confident in sharing this. He listened and never dismissed any of my feelings no matter how outrageous they might have sounded to say out loud. He encouraged my writing and to see if it will help me pinpoint the root of my sadness. So I did.

A few months later we moved back to NY and things started to change. I started to find joy in other things separate from my family. I started cooking and learning about my body’s needs from nutrition to mental health. I started seeing my friends more and having “me” time. I started taking care of myself again and spending time with my husband, just the two of us. We found our intimacy again after having Penny. Our communication flourished and have been able to find our relationship separate from being parents.

I came face to face with my joys and my triggers. And honestly I feel like I will always have to work on my emotional triggers. I also realized how satisfied I felt when I wrote and connected to others. I didn’t want to only turn to it when I felt I was in a dark place. So I started my blog to share my experiences and my thoughts but also my passion for food and overall wellness. It truly makes me happy to express myself through my blog. Grammatical errors and run on sentences included! And just the possibility that my words and experiences can resonate or make one single person out there feel understood, makes my heart feel so full!

So that is why I started my blog my friends. For you, for me, for us! Through the last year it’s been my outlet for different reasons and I might not have a particular niche I write about but I’m okay with that. Being able to share little bits of everything makes me happy. Thank you so much for being here!

Happy one year, The Sunday Biscotti!